I was born in a large southern town. My mother and my biological father were together until I was two months old. Shortly after this, my mother met and fell in love with the man whom I call my father. Although, they have had ups and downs throughout their relationship, each of them has endured and they are still married today.
It surely has not been roses and daises at times in their marriage. They each have been through divorces, infidelity, and domestic violence. I have three sisters and a brother from my mother as well as three sisters and a brother from my dad.
When I was about five years of age we moved to a much smaller town in the same state that I grew up in. I love to be around people so so school was a joy for me. I looked forward to school daily as it was an escape for me. My parents, although they were together, tended to fight a great deal of the time. I learned how to escape from turmoil at this early age. I did extremely well in school and so I was put into gifted classes. My life at school was excelling, but at home things seemed to be falling apart. My parents continued to fight all the time and this led my mom to move. I hated that as I loved both of my parents. I did not like to see them apart.
At the age of six my dad got another woman pregnant. I had a little sister, whom I do not acknowledge even to this day. My father does not participate in her life either. So, I still remain the youngest. This was a difficult time for all of us and put a huge strain on their relationship.
I remained in gifted classes through the fourth grade. However, when I was in the fifth grade I had an incident that changed my education drastically. I begin to act out at this point in my life. I came up with an idea that if I was to burn down the bathroom then I would not have to go to school anymore. This was the first time that school was not that school was not the perfect escape for me. I was discovered by the principal and sent to alternative school. My stay at the alternative school was to be thirty days. My mother was distraught at this. However, for some reason I was alright with this arrangement. I felt at home. The other kids were just like me. I felt that I was in "hell" when I had to return to my previous school. I struggled with these feelings until I was in the tenth grade and I made the decision to drop out of school. Several years later I went back for my GED. I felt decent for a little over a year and them my addiction really took off.
I stole one of my dad's painkillers. I liked the way it made me feel so I continued to take them. My parents found out about this and sent me to a rehabilitation center. I was just at the young age of seventeen. At the time, I just felt like I was on a vacation. I relapsed the day after I was released.
Throughout my addiction, I have relapsed many times. Each time that I relapse it has become worse than I could have imagined. I have been raped, stolen from my parents and even lost my self esteem. I have been to eleven rehabs and it just did not seem to "click". I wanted validation from others so bad that I lost all hope.
I am now twenty years old. At this point in my life I realize that I must find my happiness in myself first rather than others. I feel happier than ever today. I have many things that I need to continue to work on. Nevertheless, I am living in today and that makes me happy.
Lajerica's story comes from St. Anne's Home. Visit their profile to learn more.