I was raised in a stable, two-parent, church-attending Christian family. I always felt like something was missing in me and I wasn’t sure what it was or how to find it. As a fifteen year old, I thought I had found what was missing in a new and exciting relationship—I soon became pregnant. My boyfriend was a tech at a pharmacy and stole a drug that was supposed to cause spontaneous abortion, but it did not work. The result was that my baby girl entered the world by emergency c-section weighing only 3 pounds, with several birth defects, and had to have open-heart surgery before her first birthday.
Barley old enough to drive, going to work, going to school, and taking care of a child seemed impossible, until my manager at work introduced me to crystal methamphetamine. For two years I was a functional meth addict, stopped, gained weight, and rationalized my relapse as a weight loss program. Ten years after my addiction started, my dad told me that I had a God shaped hole in my heart and I could keep trying to fill it with everything of the world but it wasn’t going to fit, I needed God. He was right. I tried rehab my way, only staying clean for 4 months, becoming worse ever. I began to do all the things I said I would never do for drugs, including entering the dangerous world of manufacturing. My house was raided by the authorities, resulting in a return to my parent’s home and a life-changing prayer at church.
September 22 – I prayed for God to take my addiction. I was willing whatever the cost.
September 23 – I overdosed and was in the hospital and on life support for 14 days.
October 11 – I entered Alabama Teen Challenge.
Since being at Alabama Teen Challenge I have found a relationship with Christ that I never dreamed was possible. I have learned to make my decisions through Him based on His Word. Most of all, I have learned to love myself, not based on the number at the top of the scale, or as a man sees me, but the way God does—fearfully and wonderfully made!
Psalm 139:14 “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.”
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